there are teenagers who have unprotected sex but have a case for their iphone
just let that sink in
a guy walked into the board room and said
"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"
and i just stared at him and coldly said
"i am the regional reports manager"
we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life
i think dogs have elevator music playing in their heads at all times
i’ve never taken a cold shower bc when cold meets hot there’s a reaction
- me: watching tv show
- me: looks down at phone for 0.002 seconds
- me: misses entire plot line of episode, introduction of 2 new characters, 1 main character dies, they are in a different country, at some point someone reproduced and offspring are spoiled and someone got a pet cat