rocketpowers:

there are teenagers who have unprotected sex but have a case for their iphone

just let that sink in

ninjakato:

ruaniamh:

kaymonstar:

I keep laughing.

HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE

"EAT THE BISCUIT MEATBAG!!!"

ninjakato:

ruaniamh:

kaymonstar:

I keep laughing.

HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE

"EAT THE BISCUIT MEATBAG!!!"

thewordsofclayton:

sirtarantino:

a guy walked into the board room and said

"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"

and i just stared at him and coldly said

"i am the regional reports manager"

we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life

Good

awesomephilia:

i think dogs have elevator music playing in their heads at all times

untexting:

do you wanna have sex?

a) please

b) now

c) a + b

unfollovv:

i’ve never taken a cold shower bc when cold meets hot there’s a reaction

draqonight:

"don’t complain, I have it worse than you"

image

  • me: watching tv show
  • me: looks down at phone for 0.002 seconds
  • me: misses entire plot line of episode, introduction of 2 new characters, 1 main character dies, they are in a different country, at some point someone reproduced and offspring are spoiled and someone got a pet cat